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27. Self-Compassion: Easing Up On Yourself


In this episode, we're talking about self-compassion. We're exploring the three aspects of self-compassion noted by researcher Dr. Kristin Neff. The first, mindfulness vs over-identification, was last episode and this second one is known as self-kindness vs. self-judgment. In this episode, we'll explore how self-kindness is powerful fuel for positive change and at the same time, how this aspect of self-compassion reminds us that we are not broken and don't need fixing. 


Watch this episode on YouTube. 


Key Takeaways:

  • We access a lot of healing power when we practice self-compassion.
  • Self-kindness is a practice that can be learned and improved on. That means it's always within our potential, we just might be out of practice. 
  • Negative self-talk, harsh self-judgment, and self-criticism are all positively correlated with depression and anxiety. That means the more negative self-talk, self-judgment, or self-criticism we have, the higher the risk we'll have for depression and anxiety.
  • Unconscious, negative thinking creates a lot of unnecessary emotional suffering. The metaphor of the first and second arrows is the perfect illustration for this.
  • The power of our practice is to notice more quickly when this negative thinking and self-judgment start chattering. We can then more quickly ignore it. It will rear its head again and again, but the power comes in dismissing it.
  • Practice doesn't make perfect, but it does make things far more joyful. Consider Aimee's big bomb at an interview when her self-judgment crashed her... we're laughing with you, Aimee, not at you ;)
  • In next episode, we'll build more supports on these two aspects of mindfulness and self-kindness with the aspect of "common humanity vs isolation."


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