simple joys
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Welcome to Joy Lab!: [00:00:00] Welcome to the Joy Lab podcast, where we help you uncover and foster your most joyful self. Your hosts, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek, bring you the ideal mix of soulful and scientifically sound tools to spark your joy, even when it feels dark. When you're ready to experiment with more joy, combine this podcast with the full Joy Lab program over at JoyLab.coach
Henry: Hello, I'm Henry Emmons and welcome to Joy
Lab.
Aimee: And I am Aimee Prasek. Here at Joy Lab, we infuse science with soul to help you build resilience and uncover your joy. And today we are focusing on the power of simplicity when it comes to creating change in our lives. This conversation, I think, is a really nice partner to some of our episodes on self-care and resolutions, which has been really the last 10 or so.
I'd say the bulk of what we've done in this last, beginning [00:01:00] of 2024.
Henry: Well, I am all about simplicity, but that has not always been the case. I, I'm thinking back, you know, I used to really frustrated, for example, about kind of the role and the idea of antidepressant medication when it was seen as often seen as the only intervention that folks needed to treat depression. That's really simple for sure, but just so much of the time, it didn't seem to be effective over the long term. I've had a similar issue, frankly, with, with supplements. You know, the idea that they could be the only treatment for depression doesn't make sense to me either. In fact, when I was, uh, I was invited to write my first book and the invitation was to write a book about using supplements for depression.
Clear, simple kind of a, easy approach to the topic. But I just said, no, I'm not [00:02:00] interested in that. I don't really want to do another book about just using one thing or one class of things for depression. You know, the natural therapies, obviously they're more natural. They might be safer than medications.
They might even work a little better in the long term. But is it really that different from the idea that just taking a pill is gonna solve everything. You're still relying on one thing, and it just isn't enough, in my view, to boost resilience long term, which should be our aim. So I've come to realize that there is a difference between being simple and perhaps being too simplistic.
And often I think it is overly simplistic to rely on one thing, whether that's a medication or a natural therapy or something else to solve everything. Sometimes it works and then I am totally fine with it. Really. But for most of us, it's just not enough and we really, really do [00:03:00] need to make other changes in our lives.
So we do need to practice self-care, but I think that how we approach self-care really matters. If we go at it, you know, really hard, really intense, we try to do too much, or maybe we become too rigid, let's say about diet or exercise, it almost always fails in my view. I think it fails because it awakens our resistance. So, you know, I think it's, it's a good question to ask yourself. Why on earth would I resist eating better or being healthier in some other way. And my thought is, don't try to make sense of it because it makes no sense. But I bet it's happened to almost all of us where we, you know, we just don't do the things we know would be better for us to do.
Now, I think that's just natural human reaction, but I think it [00:04:00] works a lot better to layer this with self-acceptance. You know, I'm perfect as I am, but I could use a little improvement. And I think self-care is the little improvement part. So when we come at it more gently with greater awareness and even a bit of compassion for ourselves, I believe that we're gonna find that internal resistance just stays quiet. Stays in the background. And, and it just lets us try out this new way of being and doing things without getting too much pushback.
So that's how I see this conversation about adding a few simple, even joyful things to our day. So I believe we're seeing self-care not as a product. Not as something to add to your to-do list, but really more as just a way of being in the world, a way of moving in the world. I would love it in fact, if [00:05:00] this became something that we didn't even talk about anymore because it was just so normal and natural to treat yourself well. So we didn't even think of it as a topic for discussion.
Aimee: Yeah, I think we, uh, we'll hopefully with these conversations get to that point, we'll talk about it so much that it will become the habitual care and feeding and good treatment of ourselves. I love what you noted Henry, that this is about simple and not simplistic as well, and we layer it with self-acceptance.
We have just, we're talking about that a lot these last couple months because it really matters. And not just your perspective, as you said, Henry. This is what the research is showing that the way we approach self-care does matter. And that a gentler, more simple approach is profound.
There's a recent study that looked at mental health amidst the pandemic. They found that simple activities, uh, that just inherently cue positive emotions, so essentially the [00:06:00] activities that people really enjoyed doing, like walking, their hobbies, gardening, those activities were associated with the biggest daily wellbeing gains. So simplicity is the theme here. Simple things.
It reminds me of a piece of writing from Pang Young or Layman Pen as he was known, a revered Buddhist thinker who lived in the, uh, late seven hundreds- common era.
He wrote: "My daily activities are not unusual. I'm just naturally in harmony with them. Grasping nothing, discarding nothing. In every place, there's no hindrance, no conflict. My supernatural power and marvelous activity? Drawing water and chopping wood.
Henry: Ooh, I, I'd heard the last line there before, but I have not heard the whole quote. I just
Aimee: Yeah. [00:07:00] Chop wood...
Henry: And, and that, I think that's, that's what I was trying to say earlier. Much better said by the way. Um, But, um, just that idea that it's, it's nothing special just going about our days, but doing so in a particular way.
And even, you know, all these centuries ago, it sounds like simplicity of this kind was unique. I think he called it a super power or supernatural power. Not to grasp, not to push things away, but just to do simple routine day-to-day things, but to do them in such a way that they're truly nourishing.
Aimee: Yeah, it's, you know, our built environments have certainly changed since then, but the way we can overwhelm ourselves or treat ourselves terribly hasn't. Those same obstacles ring true. So I think that quote certainly resonates. Uh, in our NMH community, we have our Simple Joy [00:08:00] Challenges that really leverage this power of simplicity when it comes to behavior change.
Sort of this modern version of chopping wood and carrying water. Simple stuff that provides some benefit. You step back after chopping that wood or carrying that water and you can exhale with some satisfaction. And then what do you know? Your mood is actually improved over the next several hours after that simple, meaningful practice.
And we can do that every day. I'll give an example of a simple joy. We can take five minutes, just five minutes and dig your hands into some soil and smell it. And seriously smell it. So this could be a pot outside or your garden or an indoor plant or an herb and a pot. It can be very simple. You don't have to like bury yourself in it, your arms.
You don't have to get so dirty. You could just move the dirt around a little bit and literally [00:09:00] smell it. And the idea here is that there are bacteria. Some common safe bacteria that live in healthy soil. And that when we dig around a bit and get these microbes kind of moving around, we end up inhaling some of them and they can actually stimulate the release of serotonin, which can help us feel a bit happier and more relaxed.
So you can put smell some dirt on your dream board or on your resolutions list, something very simple. And then also referring back to our community, I think that group experience is really helpful to this kind of shared, simple joy. So if you haven't joined us already, please do. Uh, you can also find a buddy in your own IRL, and brainstorm simple joys that you wanna engage with together that are realistic and you can add those into your day or your week that, uh, nourish you.
Henry: You know, I think there is a [00:10:00] paradox about self-care. Even with the word self in it. Because it's true, you do have to do the work yourself, but you don't have to do it alone. And I think it works so much better if it's done together. Especially if you can find ways that make it more fun than work or drudgery.
And some folks can do that on their own, I think. But for most of us, it's just definitely made better with a group. For many years, I led resilience training groups in person, and one of the ways that I think people learned the most was from the group discussions where we could kind of hear what other folks were doing, what worked for them, where they were struggling, and it was just this shared experience that I think really made the difference. Because we all struggle to do this stuff. Even [00:11:00] when we know it's good for us. Knowledge is not the issue why we don't stay with self-care routines. It really isn't. It is much more to do with changing behaviors, which are very difficult to do.
There's so much that goes against us really changing these longstanding behaviors. And then staying motivated? Also hard to do. And finding ways to enjoy it, which is not so hard to do. It's a pleasant thing to do. Enjoy it so that we're more likely to keep doing it. And I think that's what we are trying to create in our online community.
And Aimee and I and our entire Natural Mental Health team are truly committed to creating a vibrant community and one that supports this kind of long-term change that is just so hard to do on our own.
Aimee: Yeah. I, think I've said this before and it's also because I come this month. I am craving my garden, but I think of companion [00:12:00] planning when it comes to self care. Uh, this idea that as a community we can create a space, we do, the spaces are created, we can be more conscientious about how we, create those spaces, but we can do so in a way where we thrive more together than we would alone.
And that works for introverts as well. Just having a healthy plant next to you is supportive. You do not have to have small talk with that plant. You do not have to engage necessarily. But just that idea of companion planning that we, together as we grow, we benefit each other just as a consequence, naturally.
So I hope this idea of simple joys can spark some motivation for you all. I really align with this approach. Behavior change research really aligns with this approach. And now to close and kind of funny, I don't know who said this, but it's something that I heard a long time ago and I [00:13:00] think it fits for us today, and I'd like to share it.
So here it is. Don't forget to drink water and get some sun. You're basically a house plant with more complicated emotions.
Henry: That's great.
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