100. Emotional Reactivity Meditation (Depression and Anxiety Coping Skills Podcourse)

December 16, 2023

Last episode, Dr. Emmons talked about emotional storms. This is a meditation to help practice with those storms. This meditation is something that's really best done after it's happened, after you've settled down a little bit, and the emotion's not so strong. The power of this practice is in its ability to offer wisdom from those storms. To rework the event. To imagine yourself doing it in a different way than what actually happened. And it's that power of imagination that you'll use in this meditation to help you create a more skillful way of dealing with storms in the future.

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Episode Transcript

Welcome to Joy Lab!: Welcome to the Joy Lab podcast, where we help you uncover and foster your most joyful self. Your hosts, Dr. Henry Emmons and Dr. Aimee Prasek, bring you the ideal mix of soulful and scientifically sound tools to spark your joy, even when it feels dark. When you're ready to experiment with more joy, combine this podcast with the full Joy Lab program over at JoyLab.coach

Henry (2): So this is a meditation on how to work with emotional storms, and this is something that's really best done after it's happened, after you've settled down a little bit, the emotion's not so strong. But you want to learn from it, you want to kind of rework it, imagine yourself doing it in a different way than what actually happened.

It's the power of imagination that you're using to try to create a more skillful way of dealing with this in the future. So go ahead and just let yourself sit comfortably, or if you prefer lying down, that's also fine.

Sitting upright but not rigid. Letting your eyes close, your hands, resting on your lap or folded on each other.

Letting yourself sink into the chair or the cushion or the floor.

Bring your awareness to your breath, just to allow your mind to settle for a few moments. Allowing yourself to sink more deeply into this moment in time.

Each breath is inviting your mind to settle a little bit more.

Each breath is inviting you more deeply into this moment.

Now bring to mind a memory. Might be a really recent one. Might be one from some time ago, but that still has some hold on you. A memory of a time when you were really thrown off. Emotionally.

Doesn't have to be the very worst time you've ever experienced, but something that was really strong and you got swept away by the emotion.

Allow this memory to become really clear to you. See yourself as you were at that time. See any others that were involved in creating this experience.

And see if you can really pinpoint the trigger. The moment when you were first wounded or hurt.

What was it? And what was that initial feeling?

It usually comes as just a slight contraction. A tightening or tensing in the body.

It's almost as if you're contracting to try to protect yourself.

And now picture yourself just really aware of what's happening. Turning your attention toward this wounding.

Turning your attention toward this contraction.

And just holding yourself with a sense of compassion. Sense of warmth.

As if you're pouring love onto yourself and onto this wound.

And as you do this, see if you can sense that this tightness is softening.

That this pain is releasing ever so slightly at first. And then more and more.

. And then allow the Incident to continue. Almost like you're, you're pushing the play button. And the scene before you progresses after that initial contraction around being hurt. Your mind kicks into gear. You start thinking. You start trying to understand what's going wrong.

As you do this, see if you can be aware that your thoughts are just thoughts. They're only a part of your experience.

You may not be able to stop the thoughts from arising, but you do not have to buy into them. You don't have to listen to them or believe in them. You can just notice. The thought arises, and then if you do nothing more, it will just fall away.

See if you can just allow it to be that, just a thought, momentary, and then it's gone.

But perhaps you were not able to see that at the time. And the cascade proceeded. So go ahead and let that happen now. The initial wounding. You start thinking. And then you bring in a deeper thread. A story. That you've told a thousand times about yourself or about your life. A story that you have come to believe.

But now, in the safety of the meditation, you see it for what it is. It is just a story.

It's something that you made up.

That's all that it is. It has no more power over you then that And in this moment, you can realize that this story is not real. It's not true. You do not have to keep believing in it or keep telling it to yourself.

At another time, or now if you choose, you can begin crafting a different story for yourself. One that's healthier.

One that is softer.

And now we'll go ahead and let this spiral continue. Let this event go as far as it did go and see if you can notice the moment at which you are about to say something or do something. Maybe the tension, the discomfort inside has gotten so strong you just have to do something. Even though you know it might make things worse.

So see if you can be aware of that urge to try somehow to get this feeling out of you by saying or doing something. And knowing that you're about to do this, with awareness and tenderness toward yourself, you can pause. Give yourself some moments. Some chance to reflect and to make a choice. Is this that I'm about to say or do, is it going to serve me or is it not?

And if it's not going to serve you well, if it's going to be harmful to another, you can choose not to do it.

So let's say that this entire cascade of events has happened. You've gone through a really difficult time. Maybe it's still lingering. Maybe the effects are more or less gone. But the event and your reaction to it are well in the past. So you can forgive yourself for this having happened. You do not have to be ashamed or be hard on yourself.

It just happened. And at any point after such an event or such a difficult experience, you can take time like this to be quiet, to be with it, to be able to relive it without the fear that it's going to happen again.

. Knowing that you're able to change this automatic series of events by bringing consciousness and compassion for yourself. And acceptance that this just is as it is. I just am as I am.

And then letting yourself come back to the breath. Back to this moment.

Expressing internally some gratitude toward yourself for your willingness to look at this, to be with this kind of experience. And to try to learn to do things in a different way.

100. Emotional Reactivity Meditation (Depression and Anxiety Coping Skills Podcourse)

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